backport gh 25544

[jbardin]

This backports #25544, but is not a direct cherry-pick of the commit due
to significant changes in the types between 0.12 and 0.13.

The AbstractResourceInstance type was storing the entire Resource from
the state, when it only needs the actual instance state. This would
cause resources to consume memory on the order of n^2, where n is the
number of instances of the resource.

Rather than attaching the entire resource state, which includes copying
each individual instance, only attach the ResourceInstance state, and
extract out the provider address from the Resource.

[codecov]

Codecov Report

Merging #25633 into v0.12 will decrease coverage by 0.00%.
The diff coverage is 67.85%.

Impacted Files	Coverage Δ
terraform/node_resource_refresh.go	87.17% <50.00%> (ø)
terraform/node_resource_abstract.go	78.16% <68.00%> (-1.84%)	⬇️
terraform/node_resource_destroy.go	91.08% <100.00%> (-0.26%)	⬇️
dag/marshal.go	71.57% <0.00%> (-0.51%)	⬇️
states/statefile/version4.go	54.73% <0.00%> (-0.26%)	⬇️

[ghost]

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