From: blojo@soda.berkeley.edu (Jon Blow)
12/8 Japanese: x wa 3 desu.
PostScript: /x 3 def
forth: 3 x !
English: x is 3 (more correct: value of variable x is 3)
c: x = 3;
\_ Or, (x = 0)++++++;
Lisp: (define x 3) or (defun x 3) or (setq x 3)
\_Maybe (defun x () 3) ?, but not this
\_(defconst x "x is three" 3)
Scheme: (set! x 3)
Logo: make "x 3
C Shell: set x = 3
\_ Well, not unless you're not planning to use it as
a number. If you were, the correct way to do this
would be @ x = 3 (the @ specifies a numerical
assignment)
Bourne Shell: x=3
Roman: x is III (should be done in latin, tho)
x est III
\_Doesn't this actually say "10 = 3"?
\__Of course it does. That's why rome fell.
Porno: x equals number of legs of a man.
Prolog: X is 3.
Hebrew: x 3
\_ Actually, I think it would be "x shave (two
consonants, first is sha, the other ve, NOT like
'shave' (with a razor)) 3"
BASIC: 10 let x = 3
BIFF: ARE THEIR ANN^HY CHIKZ HEAR!??!!
MR: Wh0 gives a sh*t!
"Bob": Let x equal 3 OR KILL ME!!!
Gordon Cole: YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WHEN?
Cooper: Diane, I am examining what appears to be a piece of
paper about 1 inch square with the following words
scrawled across it in what appears to be the
handwriting of a 5 year old: "X equals 3". I
can't quite remember where I've heard this before,
but if I understand the local customs, this is
but one of many similar yet different statements.
INTERCAL: PLEASE DO .1 <- #3
MIPS: addi r6, r0, #3 ; r6 is x, folks.
Valgol: LIKE UMM X = 3 ** MAX
Redcode: none (x = 3 is inexpressible; there are no variables.)
xxxxxxxx: X should be 3 but I'll do it later...
\_ I thought delayed evaluation was a cool thing...
\_ Delayed evaluation is a cool thing, but, while
evaluation is needed in a hurry, it isn't.
Negativland: The number is 3 and the letter is x. There is
no other possibility.
\_ I still can't find the number
I'm grepping for.
Xtrekspeak Like I torped x 3 times and phasered him, totally!
Mud91 X picks up 3 gold pieces and now has 3.
Sequent Darn, I'm only massacring x 3 times a round.
Jon Logic: X might be equal to 3 ... if you have to ask, you
don't know.
\_ Jon logic can't possibly exist. Mail
jon-logic@soda for info
\_ What do you mean Jon Logic doesn't exist? It's a
fundemental principle of the universe!
\_ this *COULD* say something about the
universe
\_ I didn't say it doesn't exist. I said it
can't exist, and that's not my problem.
It's not even Marcel Duchamp's problem.
DWIM: X is, well, you know.
\_ It's actually
> (setf x 3)
==> Correcting (setf x 3) to (setf x t). OK? No.
\_ Say what???
PC: A byte of the variable persuasion has been set to
the first instance of evenly-challenged prime numbers.
oo90: Segmentation fault. Core dumped.
oo91: Compiler error. Compilation aborted.
COBOL: SET THE VALUE OF VARIABLE X TO ONE PLUS ONE PLUS ONE
\_ Wrong-- that's hilf output, dude.
hilfinger:
#define Assign(var , value) var = (value )
#define increment_integer(tar, quantum) (tar+quantum)
Assign(x, increment_integer(
increment_integer(increment_integer(0,1),1),1));
harvey:
3 ___
\
___|____
/| \|/ /|
/ | V / |
/__|____/ |
| | |
| | |
| X | /
| | /
|_______|/
Python: And Saint Attila raised the variable X up on high
saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Variable X, and
with it smash our stacks to tiny bits." And the Lord
did grin, and the people did feast upon the Cokes,
and Snickers Bars, and IBC Root Beers, and breakfast
cereals, and lima bean-...
And then the Lord spake, saying:
First, shalt thou declare the holy namespace.
Then shalt thou count to 3. No more, no less.
3 shall be the number of the counting, and the
number of the counting shall be 3. 4 shalt thou
not count, and neither count thou 2, excepting
that thou then goest on to 3. 5 is RIGHT OUT.
Once the number 3, being integers[3] be reached,
then assigneth thou thy Holy Variable X in thy
lexical scope, which, having not reserved space
for thine storage, shall snuff it. Amen.
xxxx: cp -i /dev/null /etc/motd
xxxxx: Heh. You'd like to know why x is 3, wouldn't you?
Hoser.
Found on MIT but only accessible now via Google Cache http://web.mit.edu/humor/Computers/x.equals.3
Retrieved 2020.06.30 by @nyxgeek