😴 procrastination-sort

procrastination-sort is a hilariously inefficient sorting algorithm implemented in TypeScript. It embodies the true spirit of procrastination, taking frequent breaks for 'important' activities like checking social media, watching cat videos, and pondering the meaning of life. It will sort your array... eventually.

Installation

npm install procrastination-sort

Features

• ✅ Eventually accurate (like your sprint estimates)
• ☕ Coffee-driven development (cups tracked)
• 😴 Built-in procrastination routines (internet drama, infinite scrolling, etc)
• 📊 Productivity metrics (swaps made vs. excuses used)
• 🚀 Prod-ready? (we've deployed worse)

Basic Usage

import { procrastinationSort } from 'procrastination-sort';

const unsortedArray = [6, 3, 4, 1, 2, 9, 7, 8, 5];
procrastinationSort(unsortedArray).then((result) => {
    console.log(result.sortedArray); // Output: [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9]
    console.log(result.timeElapsed); // Output: 160868.165458
    console.log(result.coffeeCups); // Output: 62
    console.log(result.swapsMade); // Output: 7
    console.log(result.excusesUsed); // Output: ['Googling 'how to sort arrays'', 'Watching another cat videos on YouTube', ...]
});

Sorting with Custom Comparator

You can provide a custom comparison function for non-numeric arrays:

import { procrastinationSort } from 'procrastination-sort';

const unsortedArray = [
    { name: 'John', age: 25 },
    { name: 'Jane', age: 22 },
    { name: 'Doe', age: 30 },
    { name: 'Alice', age: 27 },
    { name: 'Bob', age: 20 },
];

procrastinationSort(unsortedArray, {
    comparator: (a, b) => a.age - b.age,
}).then((result) => {
    console.log(result.sortedArray); // Output: [{ name: 'Bob', age: 20 }, { name: 'Jane', age: 22 }, ...]
});

Verbose Mode

Enable verbose mode to get a play-by-play of the algorithm's procrastination:

import { procrastinationSort } from 'procrastination-sort';

const unsortedArray = [6, 3, 4, 1, 2, 9, 7, 8, 5];
procrastinationSort(unsortedArray, { verbose: true });

// Output:
//
// Trying to sort...
// Googling 'how to sort arrays'
// Trying to sort...
// Decided to actually sort!
// Swapped elements at index 3 and 4...
// Taking coffee break #1...
// Trying to sort...
// Watching another cat videos on YouTube
// Trying to sort...
// Decided to actually sort!
// Swapped elements at index 6 and 7...
// Taking coffee break #2...
// Trying to sort...
// Checking drama on Twitter/X
// ...
// ...
//
// --- Sorting Complete! ---
// Time taken: 160.868 seconds
// Coffee breaks taken: 62
// Swaps made: 7
// Excuses used:
//    1. Googling 'how to sort arrays'
//    2. Watching another cat videos on YouTube
//    3. Checking drama on Twitter/X
//    ...
//    ...

Custom Procrastination Activities, Probability,

You can customize what it does while procrastinating!

import { procrastinationSort } from 'procrastination-sort';

const unsortedArray = [6, 3, 4, 1, 2, 9, 7, 8, 5];
procrastinationSort(unsortedArray, {
    procrastinationProbability: 0.5,
    procrastinationActivities: ['Taking a nap', 'Playing video games', 'Watching TV', 'Cook a meal'],
    minDelay: 1000,
    maxDelay: 10000,
});

Output

The procrastinationSort function returns an object of type ProcrastinationResult<T> with the following properties:

export interface ProcrastinationResult<T> {
    sortedArray: T[]; // The sorted array
    timeElapsed: number; // Time taken in milliseconds
    swapsMade: number; // Number of swaps made
    coffeeCups: number; // Number of coffee breaks taken
    excusesUsed: string[]; // List of excuses used
}

Time and Space Complexity

Theoritical Analysis

Metric	Complexity	Real-World Interpretation
Time (Best Case)	O(n²)	Array was sorted, but you checked Twitter anyway
Time (Avg Case)	O(n² × (1/(1-p)))	Where p = procrastinationProbability (default 0.85)
Time (Worst Case)	O(∞)	Got stuck in setTimeout purgatory watching Netflix
Space	O(1)	Unless you count RAM used by Chrome tabs

Real-World Benchmarks

Array Size	Default (p=0.85)	p=0.99 (Chaos Mode)
5 elements	3.2s (4 coffee breaks)	17min ("I'll fix it after lunch")
10 elements	2.1h ("Just 1 more PR")	Until next sprint planning
100 elements	⏳ See you next week	⏳ See you next quarter

Contributing

While this project doesn't actively seek contributions, we'll accept issues and pull requests on a best-effort basis - which in practice means:

• Your brilliant idea might get reviewed
• PRs will be judged by how well they align with our core values (coffee breaks > code quality)
• Documentation updates take priority (we enjoy feeling productive without actual work)
• No guarantees, timelines, or commitments